Tag Archives: Parody Song


Some things speak for themselves….this isn’t one of those things.

This thing kind of screeches.

Consider yourself warned.

Val-Kiri Belts Out Her Anthem to Breast Cancer in the Key of Something Sharp…and Flat.

And thus, Val-Kiri’s ride through radiation is complete.

It hasn’t been fun.

But it sure has been memorable.


To Amber McDaniel, my tireless music therapist, and Spectrum Hospital Lemmen-Holton Cancer Pavilion, my heartfelt thanks. I couldn’t have survived these weeks without your support.

To Lily, who helped to record me as a last-minute request. You rock. You roll. You take lots of pictures while doing it.

And to the ladies and gents of the Blue Bird Cancer Retreat. This song’s for you! It goes out to anyone who’s had a hard time finding their inner warrior. I find the viking helmet really helps!

Every day I had radiation, I took a picture in front of one of the framed artworks at Lemmen-Holton. I saved the white-picket fence for last. Lucky number 16!
By Kiri Salazar

Waiting, not a word from the lab tech.
Diagnosing my mammaries
Takes more patience than Job.
In this thin robe, the air conditioning freezes my…nose.
And fear begins to grow.

Mammaries, hiding secrets that doom me.
I can dream of the old days
They were perkier then.
They remember a time we knew what a penis was for
Let the mammaries, live again.

Every doctor seems to offer
A fatalistic warning
X-rays reveal, a mass undetermined
A biopsy confirms it.

But wait, there’s some good news.
There’s just one lump to remove.
And a node or two.

When the doc comes
He says the mammary cells do show
An invasion has begun

ER positive—
HER-2 negative—
is that good or bad news?
Onco DX genetic testing
Means there’s no need for chemo!

Touch them!
It’s so easy to free them.
All the staff’s seen my mammaries under radiation.
If you touch them, you’ll understand what happiness means.
Now I know, I’ll live again.
For marianallen who inspired the search for Viking Cats!