Stupid Entropy

I have always wanted to be a smart person.  Or, at least, to feel like I was a smart person.

I have also been suffering lately from the certainty that I am not getting any smarter. In fact, there is evidence to suggest I may be regressing and losing my faculties altogether.

In other words, I am getting dumber.

How do I know this? I tried recently to be clever and failed.

I attempted to write a post. I wanted to be witty and erudite, to create a mathematical equation quantifying the values of parenting–like something you might see on a white board on The Big Bang Theory set. I wrote for hours. I struggled. I waffled. I flailed in my efforts to write what my brain kept telling me what should be a funny post.

At the same time, I have been trying to research what kind of cell phone or carrier to switch before my iPhone dies for good. The more I read on the topic, the less sure I am that I am capable of making a rational, informed decision.

To stave off complete digital death, I switched off as many features of my ‘smart’ phone so as to conserve the battery life past a nano-second. I turned off so many functions, my phone stopped receiving voicemails and texts. As a result, my ‘smart’ phone is now a dumb phone which is holding my information hostage until I turn my data back on.

Didn’t phones used to just work before ‘data’ was invented?*

Why is a phone designed to use data to send a message anyway?** 

*shouts into the abyss*

WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYY?

In my efforts to keep my phone running while not plugged into a recharger, I even deleted Facebook from my apps.

The entire next day I learned exactly how often I have been checking Facebook. Like, every fricking time I had a break…or had to wait in line…or stopped at a red light for more than two seconds. I wish I were kidding.

So, I’ve learned two things this week: I am not getting smarter and my phone is possibly making me dumber.

In my research for ‘smart’ terminology, I found a physics term that I feel describes my mental state:

En·tro·py, noun

/ˈentrəpē/

PHYSICS

  1. a thermodynamic quantity representing the unavailability of a system’s thermal energy for conversion into mechanical work, often interpreted as the degree of disorder or randomness in the system.
  2. lack of order or predictability; gradual decline into disorder.

Apparently I am suffering from a terminal case of entropy.***

Let’s just hope it’s not stupidly fatal.

Asterisk Bedazzled Footnote:

*C’mon conspiracy theory junkies, give me your best explanation for why phones cost ten times as much to do half as well for less years than you’d like. And then tell me why we fall for it?

**GROUP BREAK-OUT SESSION: What exactly is DATA and why is it the new gold standard for the inequalities between the haves and the have-nots? Discuss.

***Additional proof of my stupidification is denoted by the fact that I have to use the second definition of Entropy to understand the meaning of the word.

*—*—*

The Image Stolen for this header comes from a site that did a much better job of actually explaining entropy–in case any of you are smarter and want to read up on it.

 

 

22 thoughts on “Stupid Entropy

  1. I live in a place where I can get no data on my phone with the carrier I use. I don’t miss it at all. I have an Atlas in my car and state maps. Sadly, most of my passengers can’t read them but rely on their phones. I also cannot get voicemail which is OK with me because I hate calling people back. Anyone I WANT to talk to is programmed into my phone so I know they called. So, old-school, I call them back. The complications of cell phone contact? I found them wearing all the years I used them. I don’t miss them now. BUT when I cross the mountains, I see everything I “missed.”

    Sometimes something we think would make a good post or story doesn’t because while it was an awesome idea, it’s not especially “writeable.” That doesn’t mean you’re stupid. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. No data or voicemail? It’s like you are using two coconuts and a string to communicate with at that point. (The upside? Your phone is edible in an emergency and biodegradable. I approve!)

      As for good stories, some of take longer. I rushed the fence on this one. I try to publish something once a week. But February was a very rough month. They just had another snow day today. I just can’t believe this winter!)

      Let’s hope things start to calm down after the time change this Sunday. (One advantage a smart phone provides—I never forget a time change anymore. Sadly, this year it cuts my birthday by an hour!)

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You must have less contentious Facebook friends than I do. I stopped checking it, and it was as if my doctor upped my dosage, I feel so much better. But I love my Samsung Galaxy. I can read maps, but not while I’m driving, so I appreciate the Directions Lady helping me out.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I tried the Galaxy far far away and ended up writing a Star Wars-based blog post on how it went Death Star nova on me. It was a funny post, but I was kind of ‘burned’ by the experience. I liked it up until the moment it committed digital Hari Kari on me.

      However, maybe they have fixed the bug and I’d feel brave enough to try again. Does anyone at Samsung want to send me a free smart phone?

      Liked by 1 person

    1. It still banging away at the intended funny post. This piece was just the lament for dead and dying brain cells. I’m thinking of holding a candle light vigil, but I might burn the house down in the process, so perhaps not. (I suspect the number of candles on my cake will suffice as a representation of my loss—something exponential, like 10 million brain cells lost per each year of life. Too bad the flames won’t keep us warm as they blaze.)

      Like

      1. Get some kefir grains (of t’interweb) and make it in the fridge rather than a dark cupboard as if much nicer made in a child ferment over a few days. It looks like adenoids and I’d like drinking fizzy goats cheese but it’s nicer than that sounds. 70% of your sermon is made in the gut so healthy gut flora from drinking the kefir is supposed to help. It took a couple of months to accumulate but I’m definitely more switched on these days.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Don’t you love you spellcheck ruins a perfectly good paragraph with a few well-places changes!? Fermenting something in a child is so very wrong. And perhaps sermons do come from the gut 70% of the time, but I suspect you meant something else there too. I’ve tried Kefir when I was recovering from salmonella. It totally tasted like I imagine fermented goat would taste like. It has quite an odd quality to become accustomed to. But, maybe if it helps me think better, it’s worth it? Maybe?

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  3. I am 100% with you on all of this. I think parenthood destroys brain cells, for one thing. As far as conspiracy theories, it’s the planned obsolescence. That’s what’s up with cell phones. Everything we buy now is designed to become obsolete fairly quickly so that we have to go out and buy another one. If you want to start a new Luddite revolution, I’m your girl. And I’m a lot happier since I nixed a bunch of social media apps from my phone, too. Good luck with the new phone hunt!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Brenna, if you head the Luddite revolution, I’ll be your devout follower. Of course, as a Luddite, I’ll be following you with a lantern and hoping you know the way. I’m totally lost without my GPS.

      Like

  4. I don’t have FB on my phone. I don’t WP on my phone unless I’m traveling far. One thing that can help is closing tabs. Are you closing your tabs? And be on wifi as much as you can. And when you’re not, use airplane mode. Don’t be out in the world using data, much as you can.
    As for the rest, I don’t know.

    Liked by 1 person

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